Sunday, August 03, 2014

Button-Bottas-Alonso for McLaren Honda

rumours for McLaren Honda 2015

McLaren leaves Mercedes engines and gets German Vettel as new driver, sure. One slower than one driving a new car, Ricciardo on Red Bull.
Kobayashi or Katayama for Honda would be better than Vettel instead.
Also, Magnussen is slower than Jenson. Facts.

When the media named Grosjean as possible new driver (exchange with Button, si spera boiata di Mazzoni della Rai), one who became famous for being a disaster in continuous crashes, at the Hungaroring he crashed again.

The worst drivers for McLaren now would be Vettel, Schettino diva Hamilton, and Grosjean. The best would be the fast Alonso, Bottas, Ricciardo and McLaren experienced Jenson.
SACK BOULLIER

The fankids are saying this half season was "TRULY AMAZING"...said from people who have seen an average of 2 seasons in their life. Truly amazing like : Mercedes could do what they want, everbody saying the noise of the cars don't even sound like Formula 1, to have the first exciting GP the people had to wait half season in Hungary influenced by the wet track and still not raining yet, the nose of the cars is dangerous and caused too many loops, all the teams already realized the new rules are wrong, another dominance, even worse than Vettel's 'cause this was from the start, etc. etc.

Quei rimbambiti dell'Autodromo di Monza (che non hanno ancora pubblicato il poster del Gran Premio d'Italia, adesso che con la crisi e il rischio della futura cancellazione ci sarebbe da fare promozione... proprio gestito male) neanche dicono che adesso sono disponibili i biglietti di Monza x le giornate singole... sembrano rassegnati... stavolta mica ci sforziamo di informare la gente in giro, dopo la fregatura dell'anno scorso. Che poi, più biglietti vendono, e meno ci sarebbero "offerte", e possibilità che il walkabout torni come prima, quindi meglio parlare di merda di Monza.
Addirittura adesso c'è scritto che il walkabout è "attività da confermare" persino x quelli con l'abbonamento... ma stiamoscherzando o cosa.
Solo in Italia... Lo fanno perchè siamo il paese dei furbi e vogliono vendere più biglietti costosi possibile e abbonamenti di 3 giorni (per non parlare di passare giorni sotto il sole in mezzo al casino x non vedere quasi niente). Si sono visti i risultati l'anno scorso, il primo che non siamo andati... (probabile quest'anno anche). Ecclestone che ha parlato di un fallimento (c'erano le tribune mezze vuote al venerdì ma l'Autodromo diceva che erano piene) e che quindi il GP potrebbe venire cancellato alla scadenza del contratto (2016), con un probabile Mugello in Toscana dal 2017

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Belgium GP 2014 Formula 1



SPA FRANCORCHAMPS - Spa-Francorchamps F1 circuit, Belgique - België. 
Belgian Formula One Grand Prix preview, 22-24 August 2014. 
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 

British time: (Italy & Belgium +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 9:00-10:30 
fp2: 13:00-14:30 (1pm-2:30pm)

Saturday 
fp3: 10:00-11:00 
qualifying: 13:00-14:10 

Sunday 
race: 13:00

Monday, July 28, 2014

Nibali wins on McLaren

PARIS - Italian cyclist Nibali won the 2014 Tour de France, using a McLaren Specialized S-Works bike. Jenson Button often practices cycling.

The French Le Monde newspaper tried every way to accuse him of doping... aha that's really an unsporting and ridiculous way, without a proof.
And, he's great also DOWNHILL and on the PAVE' (he showed he's a champion) and doping for those is useless eh...
Sorry, it's only 30 years a French doesn't win their home tour, try again
‪#vebruciaerculo‬
It must be Nibali's fault for the other cyclists like Contador and Froome not even able to stay on the bike...
"j'accuse!"... my ass.

Immancabili le boiate della Rai come nella Formula 1 (devono essere tipici parenti raccomandati di Mazzoni).
Hanno chiesto ai ciclisti che musica ascoltano e uno ha detto Kings of Leon, e quello della Rai ha tradotto, serio : IL RE LEONE...............
Non sono molto intelligenti... Hanno ripetuto ogni giorno mille volte che "i fuggitivi ce la faranno", "non sarà facile andare a riprendere i fuggitivi", persino quando erano a soli 20 secondi di "fuga" (a 30 km dall'arrivo!), quando ormai il gruppo li vedeva. Poi non hanno neanche commentato che puntualmente li riprendevano (essendo quelli della Rai dei gufi).
Eccoli : "tour finito, ha vinto Nibali... Lo sappiamo che quelli a casa diranno..." ...eh sì, diranno (e pagheranno il canone...). Giorno dopo: caduta di massa, mega rischio, classifica salva di culo per 100 metri perchè era a 2.9 dalla fine, entro i 3 km.
Tra l'altro se dici sempre che non li riprenderanno, non è un modo molto efficace di tenere gli spettatori davanti alla tv... Credono forse che il telespettatore faccia il tifo o si emozioni a vedere una fuga che va in porto, ma a noi pare il contrario, è bello vedere che recuperano, che ci sia lotta, e poi nel gruppo ci sono sempre i migliori, di cui i tifosi sono dei fan.
Nel ciclismo sembra quasi scientifico: quelli in fuga non vincono quasi mai. Come quando c'è una volata finale, è veramente MATEMATICO che quello che sta più indietro rispetto agli altri, vince sempre.
Hanno paragonato Nibali a Mercx, e dopo :
"...non vorremmo che poi qualcuno a casa dicesse : ma come faaate a paragonarlo a Merckx!!!"
MA COME FAAAATE A PARAGONARLO A MERCKX!!!
Seriamente questi hanno bisogno di aiuto.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Hungary GP - what a mistake, McLaren!

HUNGARORING (Budapest) - Jenson FIRST and wrong tyres! #SACKBOULLIER
This Gp was exciting but the media and fankids are ignoring that it was thanks to the WET track.

Vettel's fankids : Seb’s driving skills showed us how to avoid crashing into a pit wall.
ahahahaha in Italian it's called CULO... ass, lucky as fuck.
They're butthurt Ricciardo won again...

Vettel's butthurt fankids part 2: Vettel should go to McLaren, all Red Bull helps Ricciardo, strategy… and always Seb have wrong strategy.
This type of childish moaning is usually from Hamilton... like a kid, when he thinks daddy or mama seem to prefer one child or the other.
keep that asshole of a fake champion for yourself.

Once again, no celebration from the British fans for Hamilton's problem in qualifiying like they did with Rosberg @ Silverstone. Not good enough to win without Rosberg retiring?

According to McLaren, the summer ends at the end of July.
Maybe because in September (even October), when in Monza it's sunny and hot and we have gelato, in Britain it's already winter and they have soup like old people.


highlights video

RAI, solito misto di cecità-rincoglionimento-gufaggio :
nelle qualifiche se la ridevano come al solito, stavolta perchè alcuni del pubblico iniziavano a tirare fuori ombrelli e vestirsi (tipica situazione da ridere eh... tipo "guarda quegli sfigati del popolo"), Mazzoni fa il buffone: "forse perchè hanno caldo" (?? quegli altolocati aristocratici della Rai usano ombrelli da passeggio per il sole, soffrono di colpi di sole). Nel momento preciso in cui Capelli dice che non ci sono condizioni di pioggia (era dal giorno prima che minacciava di piovere), inizia a piovere, con tanto di uscita di pista di Rosberg, botto x Kevin, svarione di Jenson. Non contento, ha continuato a dire che non pioveva.

"una Force India esce di pista... è Vergne!" (Vergne sulla Force India??)
"Button è il più lento, si sta formando un trenino dietro..." ...è Magnussen!
"Hamilton attacca Vergne" (ma non è appena uscito di pista?? ...era Rosberg)
il tutto in 30 secondi, fastest mistakes for Mazzoni

Mazzoni faceva il tifo per Hamilton, adesso si spiegano molte cose... (si vede che ci sono stati contro-ordini dall'alto...) arrivando addirittura al litigio ("non è una polemica") con l'ingegner Bruno, che giustamente diceva che ci sono state safety car, pista bagnata, strategia sbagliata, ecc.
"Non vorrei che ci fossero dei problemi per Hamilton!" (??? la diva ti paga?)

Capelli è un motore che non si accende : "non riesce a sopr... sovr... sopr..."
sotto?
"...a passare" (è così difficile dire sorpassare, sopravanzare? non riesce)
Dopo, a Fisichella : "ti aiuto io a capire"
sem a post...

grid girls @ Monza 2014


(also for foreign girls) if you want to be one of the "gridgirls" at the 2014 Italian Formula 1 Grand Prix, you have to send 2 photos (face and full body) and curriculum, to eventi@monzanet.it before the 28 of July.
You have to be at least 170 cm tall, and the selection will be @ circuit on 29 July

Monday, July 21, 2014

Hungary GP 2014 Formula 1


BUDAPEST - Hungaroring, Mogyoród, Budapest, Hungary. 
Magyar Nagydíj Hungarian Formula One Grand Prix preview, 25-27 July 2014. 
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 
British time: (Italy & Hungary +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 9:00-10:30 
fp2: 13:00-14:30 (1pm-2:30pm)

Saturday 
fp3: 10:00-11:00 
qualifying: 13:00-14:10 

Sunday 
race: 13:00

I don't know why I've always liked Hungary... ;)
since I was a child, I wrote a thesis about it.
It was the flag with the same colours of Italy inspiring me.
Then when I grew up, I realised why :D
And my favourite Jenson Button won his first race here, and in 2011.

I need a tourist guide! :)

Marco Guido

Sunday, July 20, 2014

boring German GP

HOCKENHEIM - At the 19th lap (out of 67) the "very exciting" Germany Grand Prix was already over, same top positions at the end.
Hamilton even thought Button would've let him pass... sure, diva Hamilton, everything for your majesty.
Is there at least one car the "super champion" Hamilton (driving only fast cars eh) is able to overtake without causing a loss of pieces...
Typical illuminati, all calculated. This Formula 1 is so boring that Mercedes can do what they want. Home race won for their drivers, final world champion Hamilton, paid like a luxury bitch.
Now it's the naive fankids turn : oh it was so exciting to see the battle for the 6th and 15th position...
If there's a battle for the 35th position and Chilton even does the breakdance inside the car, we fans can't care about it.
Ze Germans are so provincial... you know what I mean...
winning in football must be something new for them... lucky they didn't get Italy, or they would've lost as always. Formula 1 people usually don't care about football and even hate it. All that football in F1 has nothing to do... the only one serious person who doesn't talk about it, is Jenson.
There's a word in Italian to describe them : "tamarro"... they have no style, a bad style... We've also seen a car of Germans, with blue phosphorescent lights under the car, and loud music. It was all fake.
The British "fair play (my ass)" fans didn't celebrate Hamilton's crash at the start of qualifying... come on, it's a technical problem for the same car you celebrated the failure @ British GP.
Oh it's only "them Italians, those Africans" celebrating failures...
there's no more xenophobe crowd than the British, even faking to be anti-racist.
Divine punishment : shite food and rain all year. Only one thing left : drinking to forget.

The fankids of Diva Hamilton say it's because he went away that McLaren sucks and they laugh of McLaren... sure, he made the HISTORY of McLaren... like : without McLaren he would've been NOBODY.
His team mates, who knew him a little bit better than his fankids : with Alonso didn't get on well and had to go away, Jenson didn't even follow him and Hamilton moaned like a kid (also about getting millions from sponsors... and revealing the telemetry on the internet like an idiot), and Rosberg, they're like cat and dog.
Sure it's a hard work to travel around the world getting millions from sponsors... he should go working in a field in the countryside, maybe he becomes a bit humble.


highlights video

continua la cecità :
"Hamilton ha perso dei pezzi"... nooo, è la Ferrari.
"Vettel ha perso dei pezzi"... nooo, è la Ferrari.
Per Mazzoni la Ferrari è indistruttibile.
"I piloti infiammano il pubblico"... ooohh guarda erano talmente infiammati che non gliene fregava neanche di Rosberg.
"PRINCIPIO di incendio per Chiviàt"... (Kvyat) ...se vi brucia mezza casa, tranquilli ricordatevi che è solo un principio d'incendio.
Lui parla così perchè vuole sembrare un esperto che usa termini tecnici. (incendio per lui è un termine tecnico).
Durante le prove quelli della Rai se la ridevano perchè si chiama "Fric" (solito umorismo da bar da due soldi), e dicevano che SOLO le Mercedes e le Williams senza Fric sono in difficoltà... risultato : prima la Mercedes, seconda e terza le Williams (e senza incidente Hamilton sarebbe stato là), idem la gara, con Hamilton al posto di Massa.
"Vedete questa curva non è perfettamente dritta"
(Mazzoni)
vediamo... è una curva...
Adesso (invece) non era serio:
"speriamo che gli spettatori si riversino in massa... Massa non c'entra niente" (ride)
"quello che ha scaldato più le gomme è stato Kobayashi" (ride)
...è uno humour sottile... inglese... per palati fini. Fini non c'entra niente (rido) - fase di mazzonizzazione.
Paul Hembery parla italiano meglio di Stella Bruno.
fact



more exciting than F1

Monday, July 14, 2014

Germany GP 2014 Formula 1


HOCKENHEIM - Hockenheimring, Deutschland. 
German Formula One Grand Prix preview, 18-20 July 2014. 
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 

British time: (Italy +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 9:00-10:30 
fp2: 13:00-14:30 (1pm-2:30pm)

Saturday 
fp3: 10:00-11:00 
qualifying: 13:00-14:10 

Sunday 
race: 13:00

Sunday, July 06, 2014

Silverstone, British crowd celebrates Rosberg retiring

SILVERSTONE - British Grand Prix. The British crowd celebrated Rosberg's technical problem...what a bunch of drunk assholes. They shouldn't be so happy, it's the same German car of your Black God Hamilton, IDIOTS (don't say anything against him, "because he's black"...)
As if we celebrated Magnussen retiring.
Aren't the British famous for their FAIR PLAY, sporting behaviour? like, burning Italian flags as in the Middle East with American flags? fair play my ass!
Godlike punishment for them : RAIN all year. And shite food. And losing all the games vs Italy.
LOSERS.

congratulations to Lewis Hamilton for winning the home Great Britain GP, showing his superior driving skills thanks to Rosberg's car retiring.
His girlfriend has been substituted with Naomi Campbell.
pettinatura da proper coglione

Maldonado and Gutierrez : find a room.
(and have sex)


highlights video

do you really think there was, there is and there will be a battle for the world championship between Rosberg and Hamilton?
you must be naive... it's all about money, it's all already planned. Can't you see how fake are their behaviours...
illuminati Mercedes wouldn't throw away millions to make lose their most paid driver when the Red Bull dominance is over... you know who's that one...
Hamilton world champion, Rosberg leading in the first part of the season, to make F1 "exciting", or FIA would change the rules...

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

British Grand Prix 2014 Silverstone




SILVERSTONE - Silverstone F1 Circuit, England. 
Great Britain Formula 1 GP preview, 4-6 July 2014. 
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 

British time: (Italy +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 10:00-11:30 
fp2: 14:00-15:30 (2pm-3:30pm)

Saturday 
fp3: 10:00-11:00 
qualifying: 13:00-14:10 

Sunday 
race: 13:00



a little guide to the home GP

Saturday, June 21, 2014

una Rai da Medioevo

SPIELBERG - Nuova puntata delle comiche di Mamma Rai (la prima mamma nella storia mantenuta da noi figli...)
Ecco eccola la vecchia mentalità solidaristica buonista=coglionista italiana, quella dell'indulto e che scarcera subito i delinquenti e che ha fatto tenere quel brocco di Massa per così tanti anni alla Ferrari : per Mazzoni, Massa è uno dei piloti più amati perchè aveva fatto l'incidente. Ma se lo odiano persino quasi tutti i tifosi della Ferrari? gli altri forse meno perchè non ce l'hanno avuto...
NON calcoliamo quanti ne ha provocati eh... una media di quasi 1 per GP.
Arrestatelo.
Con tutte ste robe, poi è ovvio che uno finisce per tifare McLaren...

Capelli contesta la grafica... da che pulpito... Mazzoni lo contraddice (dai picchiatevi da soli!), lui la grafica non ha mai avuto il piacere di conoscerla...

"tantissimi sostenitori AUSTRIACHI"
(chi? Kvyat-CHIVIAT Mazzoni, 'na chiavica)
perchè non anche ricchione Ricchiardo? ... La pronuncia sbagliata di Kvyat si è diffusa come la peste a tutto lo staff Rai (ma è così difficile non pronunciare la i dopo la k?), grazie a Mazzoni (è lui che lancia nuove idee... si saranno messi d'accordo e avranno detto: ah beh se lo dice il Grande Capo Augh Mazzoni Toro RossoFerrari Seduto è sicuramente giusto), e lo pronunciano così perchè è più comodo, quindi tipicamente italiano... (come dare la colpa a Balotelli...)

"Button è stato punto da una vespa, ha dovuto ricorrere al pronto soccorso. Tutto regolare".
come per dire : non sono stati utilizzati prodotti nocivi al buco nell'ozono contro la vespa.

Fantastica nuova grafica per aiutare gli italiani, che dice "GP Austria Q2"... è stata rimossa quella retrò che faceva tristezza della "manche eliminatoria"... scendeva Alberto Tomba? (era appropriata per dei telecronisti fuori tempo)... si sono accorti che non siamo più nel Medioevo, ma sempre con una grafica da primi anni 80 del computer Commodore VIC-20.
Forse usano quelle scritte perchè pensano che il pubblico sia rincoglionito come loro.

Aaaaahhhh l'ho appena scritto e Mazzoni l'ha detto : MANCHE!
Se proprio vogliono usare metodi tradizionali di tempi remoti, suggeriamo di utilizzare signorine (in topless) che passano davanti alzandoci un cartello (e non solo quello), come nel pugilato.

Mazzoni scatenato, ha ripetuto "manche" 5 volte in 2 minuti... ma dai, ogni sport ha i suoi termini, round è pugilato, manche è lo sci... forse lo dice perchè l'Austria è in montagna... troppo intelligente.

L'unico che si salva è il grande Pino Allievi senza peli sulla lingua anche contro la Ferrari, se ne sbatte di tutti.
A volte si può non essere d'accordo con lui, ma ci vogliono questi vecchi che rompono i coglioni (non Mazzoni) e sanno com'era la F1.

Come mai tutte le giornaliste (comprese quelle gnocche) in Rai sono sposate con vecchi (orribili) uomini che lavorano già in Rai?? ma dai?? guarda il caso eh! è uno schifo. Vorrei vedere anche la moglie di Mazzoni...
ma da quando la svedese ha mollato Capelli...
E probabilmente l'incompetente Stella Bruno (quella con lo stesso cognome dell'ingegner Bruno...) al contrario : sta con uno "gnocco" ahaha
TROIE, tRAIe
Ti risponderebbero "l'amore è cieco"... e ti fa lavorare in Rai

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Austria GP 2014 Formula 1


SPIELBERG - Highlights photos. Großer Preis von Österreich, Red Bull Ring F1 circuit, Spielberg, Österreich. 
Austrian Formula One Grand Prix preview, 20-22 June 2014. 
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 

British time: (Italy +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 9:00-10:30 
fp2: 13:00-14:30 

Saturday 
fp3: 10:00-11:00 
qualifying: 13:00-14:00 

Sunday 
race: 13:00

Sunday, June 08, 2014

Canada GP 2014, Ricciardo first win

MONTREAL - First victory, great Ricciardo... > much better than > Vettel.
Massa is ALWAYS involved in accidents... biggest idiot of all, even worse than Maldonado. Thanks for the gift anyway. And they punished Perez... this is a scandal... they should ban Massa for life. "Natural driving line" ahaha like TRAINS... what a joke this F1.
The media (paid by Bernie) and some fans are saying this GP was INTENSE, DRAMATIC...
do they follow the F1 since 2012, right? we fell asleep 3 times during this GP... world record. And it was even full volume, both from tv and computer.
The people of the weather forecast (is that a job? like, selling smoke?) for every GP say "rain and a thunderstorm" (maybe an earthquake?) and then obviously it's sunny and hot.
They made an agreement with Bernie to create suspense, 'cause there isn't at all.
It's years there are no wet races. Dominant teams dominate the weather too, they made an agreement with the weather.

The diva Hamilton outtttttttt... My birthday gift for tomorrow. Rosberg world champion. No world record for Mercedes.
divine justice

photos highlights video

è spaventoso come Mazzoni si sia accorto lentamente che Ricciardo aveva passato Rosberg. Ma cosa stava facendo?? il caffè??
e ha pure confuso Perez con Vettel nell'incidente.
Attenzione! novità assoluta! con una nuova grafica, la Rai prontamente (più o meno) ci avvisa che il programma è sottotitolato alla pagina 777 di Televideo ahahaha
ma com'è possibile?? mica è un telefilm... è una farsa.
Forse perchè i telecronisti sono talmente lenti che gli addetti fanno in tempo a scrivere i sottotitoli.
Speriamo che non tolgano mai la F1 dalla Rai, è fondamentale x capire l'Italia... forse l'abbiamo capita un po' troppo...
La Rai non fa mai vedere l'inno nazionale pre-GP, che è uno dei momenti più belli e toccanti. E' la tv nazionale ma non nazionalista, "ma anche" vuole i soldi da tutta la nazione.
Come le Frecce Tricolori alla Festa della Repubblica, prima non c'erano perchè c'era la crisi, adesso invece con Renzi e gli 80 euro gratis per pochi ma non per tutti (perchè "siamo tutti uguali ma alcuni sono un po' più uguali"), scorrono fiumi di latte e miele in Italia. Pensavamo di poter contare sul petrolio...
Proprio mentre scrivevamo questo, è giunta notizia che l'Arcidiocesi di Rio de Janeiro ha fatto causa alla Rai per uno spot blasfemo col Cristo Redentore del Corcovado che indossa una maglietta dell'Italia... hanno tentato si fare i nazionalisti ma hanno fallito... E persino la Berlinguer dice che la Rai deve cambiare... cosa ci si può aspettare dove sono tutti raccomandati...
è un rincoglionimento totale... Mazzoni non riconosce Vettel da Ricciardo, adesso persino quando sono fuori dalla macchina, nessuno gli dice niente, continua a dire Chiviat (chi? viat... ah ok), ed è una malattia contagiosa per gli altri, rettiliniiii, Capelli parla un'altra lingua, la "prima prova libera"... Mazzoni, anzi Mazzioni.
Poltronieri a 127 anni è più sveglio, scrive persino i commenti (giusti) sul sito del tributo a Senna...
per Capelli, George Lucas è un direttore... sì, de orchestra.
C'è una parola abbastanza usata in italiano, si dice regista.
Si sarà confuso perchè in Canada in vacanza (pagata da noi) sta parlando inglese, chissà come parla bene... George Lucas is a regist...
Mazzoni non ha ancora capito che entrambe le Marussia erano incidentate... "no no ecco, è Chilton!"
si vedeva lontano un miglio che avevano danni diversi ...e ovviamente le macchine potevano solo essere in posizioni diverse.

Pure questo manco a farlo apposta, è saltato il collegamento della partita dell'Italia... adesso ancora una seconda volta... ottima prova per il Mondiale... proprio mentre l'Italia ha segnato... sembra di essere nell'800... qualche decennio fa se dicevi 2014 si pensava che l'uomo sarebbe andato sulla Luna in vacanza... in Italia non funziona manco la tele...
la Rai darà la colpa a qualcun altro... Mazzocchi ha detto che ovviamente non è colpa loro "ma anche" si prendono la responsabilità "in toto"... un' po' contraddittori...
La Rai ha fatto saltare anche tutta l'ultima parte della finale del Roland Garros con la Sharapova per far vedere la LEGA PRO...
Dopo il disguido della Nazionale si dice che verrà fuori un casino politico. Ci vogliono persone competenti che lavorano, almeno nella tv di Stato...

Canada GP 2014 Formula 1


MONTREAL - LOL "quando Martin vedete solo per la città..." (= when you see Martin - Whitmarsh :) - alone in the city). ragazze = girls. Pinco Panco: could be Maldonado... singer: Nilla Pizzi. song: Casetta in Canada (little house in Canada).

Gilles Villeneuve F1 circuit, Montreal, Quebec, Canada. 
Canadian Formula One Grand Prix preview, 6-8 June 2014. 
Incredible race by Button @ Canada GP 2011, from last to first position. 
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 

British time: (Italy +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 15:00-16:30 (3pm-4:30pm)
fp2: 19:00-20:30 

Saturday 
fp3: 15:00-16:00 
qualifying: 18:00-19:00 

Sunday 
race: 19:00



Canada 2011: marshall falling over twice


on lap 37 of the wet-dry 4 HOURS race, Jenson was LAST of the lot after clashing with Hamilton and Alonso, and pitting 3 times over punctures and a speeding penalty. A complete disaster.
Just 33 laps later, he won the race after a mesmerising drive through the entire field, boosted by a series of cleverly-timed pit stops.
The icing on the cake came at turn six on the very last lap when leader Vettel, spooked by the ever-closing Button, slid wide and let the Brit through to win what he described as "definitely my best race ever". Definitely the best race seen in years.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Jenson Button music mix



with his favourite songs. 

La gente che gode di Schumacher in coma è l'ultima dell'italiota-medio (di solito erano i fan comunisti di Senna... conoscevo anche qualche tedesco, a loro non piaceva perchè pretendevano fosse Schopenhauer), tipico del nostro popolino che vive di invidia (per chi ha i soldi, chiunque sia, senza conoscerlo... lui poi è quello anticipaticissimo, oh mamma quanto è antipatico quel Schumacher... ecco vedi, ben gli sta eh... la prossima volta devi raccontare più barzellette per idioti...)

Monaco GP 2014: diva Hamilton being fucked


MONTE CARLO - Grand Prix photos slideshow, some highlights. Song : Monte Carlo by Verve.
Lewis Hamilton has been named the World's most marketable athlete, replacing Neymar at the top of the list... oh we know well about that money-DRIVEN bitch... one really loving McLaren would've stayed, but he preferred the millions and less work with sponsors. He likes to win easily.
The diva arrived late on a boat... how gay. Guess who's another diva arriving late on a boat... Bernie, another huge bitch. The reason why Hamilton was late is because he was sleeping at his home in Monaco, so he wanted to show everyone he's got a house in Monaco... ooooh poor boy, he must be tired... too many millions, too easy wins. In the interview, he was even proud he overslept, to sound cool... how pathetic.
After the pole position, Rosberg yes sure he went off track deliberately...Senna-like... Nico is more Senna-like doing that, than Hamilton Senna-like in his whole career.
Will you have to sit down and sort it out?
Hamilton: “I don’t know if Senna and Prost sat down and talked it out."
and do you feel to be Senna or Prost? 'cause you're the chair.
There was something almost nobody knew... Hamilton used the overtaking button (more power) in Spain and wasn't allowed, that's why Nico behaved like that now. 
The Hamilton "becausehesblack" fankids are now calling Nico a NAZI ahahahaha poor F1...
How can Monaco now be a "drivers track" as many say, if the grid order of the cars was: Mercedes couple, Red Bull couple, Ferrari couple... and all the other copules more or less... tsk tsk, this Formula 1 is absurd.
Bernie in a mission to make this sport less predictable, has made it totally predictable.

Once again, Vettel was not at Monaco Amber Lounge party night... he's too uncool, he can only wear that horrible Red Bull t-shirt. Ze germanz, no sense of style.

Natalie Pinkham : "GLORIOUS food in Monaco..."
GLORIOUS??? is it even food???

Monday, May 12, 2014

Monaco GP 2014 Formula 1


MONTECARLO - F1 circuit de Monaco, Monte-Carlo.
Monaco Formula One Grand Prix preview, 22-25 May 2014.
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. Remember this one starts on Thursday (no Friday). 

British time: (Italy +1) 

Thursday 
free practice 1: 9:00-10:30 
fp2: 13:00-14:30 

Saturday 
fp3: 10:00-11:00 
qualifying: 13:00-14:00 

Sunday 
race: 13:00

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Spain GP.. F1 more boring than cycling

BARCELONA - Let's switch to cycling... *new world record*: even cycling for pensioners is less boring.
This Formula 1 is exciting like a porn film on the radio.
Anyone knows what time the race starts? ... it's the free practice now, innit?
This F1 must be clearly changed. It's not even a sport, Mercedes are going to win all the races and it's not because their athletes are making a better/bigger physical effort.
The people saying F1 2014 is exciting have disappeared already. As we had said, it's even worse than in 2013, it was boring in the second half only.
sack Boullier anyway.


"highlights" video : nothing. Song : goodnight

the fastest cars Vettel overtook yesterday in his (according to the media and bibitari disco fankids) "fantastic job" : the Force Indias.
Now the fankids are saying Magnussen is not as good as Hamilton was @ McLaren... ah! give him the cars Hamilton always had... Hamilton never had bad cars, he likes to win easily...
Now it's the time of the pathetic stories about the poor victim Hamilton's childhood coming out.
I bet soon it's coming out that he was poor (didn't he grow up with videogames @ McLaren?), abandoned, adopted, saved Africa with his millions from Mercedes, and was sodomized by Michael Jackson

doppiati al 40° giro... miglior risultato stagionale.
una media di circa 2 secondi e mezzo persi a giro.
di questo passo di solito le F1 diventano competitive dopo circa 6-7 anni.

Monday, May 05, 2014

Spain GP 2014 Formula 1



BARCELONA - Gran Premio de España, Circuit de Catalunya, Montmeló, Barcelona.
Spanish Formula One Grand Prix preview, 9-11 May 2014. 
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 

British time: (Italy +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 9:00-10:30 
fp2: 13:00-14:30 

Saturday 
fp3: 10:00-11:00 
qualifying: 13:00-14:00 

Sunday 
race: 13:00



2013

Friday, May 02, 2014

Senna Imola tribute 2014



tributo 20° anniversario, video & foto

Sunday, April 20, 2014

China GP, even slower McLaren

SHANGHAI - Still a very boring Formula 1 once again.
McLaren is showing to be not very reactive... as in 2013, the car sucked so bad, they had to use the 2012 car, that was fast but they were scared of its poor reliability.
Do not repeat a similar mistake, change something NAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
The fans are desperate. It's obvious that extreme measures are necessary... sacking people.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sack the fucking Frenchman Boullier!!!!!!!!!!!! get Domenicali or Brawn!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See the result of the change at Ferrari with Mattiacci, the effect is immediate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
McLaren: "We know what we have to do, we’ll work night and day to do it."
... seems like you're working at the nap time.
"McLaren are the slowest team with the Mercedes engine, which is the dominant power-unit in F1"... oh! wondering why eh............. it's our last year with them...
Moment of the year 2014:
a Caterham (Kobayashi) overtaking Vettel and he gets angry
ahahahaha


highlights video

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

China GP 2014 Formula 1


SHANGHAI - Shanghai International Circuit, 中国大奖赛 (Grand Prix of China). 
Chinese Formula One Grand Prix preview, 18-20 April 2014. 
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 

British time: (Italy +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 3:00-4:30 
fp2: 7:00-8:30 

Saturday 
fp3: 4:00-5:00 
qualifying: 7:00-8:00 

Sunday 
race: 8:00

Friday, April 11, 2014

Ayrton Senna t-shirts, last chance

 

they told us these Senna t-shirts are going to be removed soon, so if you want it, get it soon.
It would be good to wear for the Senna tribute anniversary @ Imola in May. 
It's the best price for the original logo. 
free delivery on 2 or more items. 
€ 20 = £ 16 
white clicking here - many other colours here (Brazilian too)

Monday, April 07, 2014

Bahrain GP, Formula 1 still boring

SAKHIR - Another dominance, another boring year. 2014 Formula 1 is even worse than the past years and last year when Vettel dominated with Red Bull only in the second part of the season. And everybody's saying it's exciting? Mercedes even have a separate race from the others. Looks like an endurance race. They even said via radio to take the cars back home, that meant to stop fighting. Also, nobody named the safety car : there was some show thanks to that and Rosberg could reach Hamilton.
Don't know what sort of sport the new fans were used to... maybe playing chess. Clearly, people who didn't live in the 80's. Even Montezemolo went to Bahrain to talk with the others and Minardi said the (ma)Fia should do something, there's no show, that is F1.
This F1 is all wrong. It's years they're planning it, and only recently they realised the cars and noses are dangerous. Not a good thing if the most interesting thing of a race is a collision... between Maldonado and Gutierrez who? the car had a strange reaction, not even at high speed. In fact, he got a little penalty, and that's right.
The drivers are not even eating, because of the car weight. All wrong.
How fucking boring is it that "Hamilton and Rosberg showed to have a sporting behaviour, so the young people learn how to behave blah blah blah"... nah, the people don't want to be told what to do. They don't want to be nuns in a fucking church.
Mercedes said it was a fun race... oh go and tell it to McLaren. Sure it's fun when you're winning eh?
Mercedes is nothing in F1 history, only 16 wins. Today Formula One lost, and McLaren with it. And Ferrari with it. Together they're all the main F1 history.
Bernie let us be the new presidents of FOM, FOA, FOCA, FI(C)A, lol (the last one is a pussy). I'll take the FICA one. We promise chaos


"highlights" slideshow

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Sky UK Formula 1 mix


songs chosen by Sky Sports F1 for their Grand Prix races 
(more to add soon on Mixcloud)

Thursday, April 03, 2014

Milan design week with Martini Williams

MILAN - Settimana del Salone del mobile di Milano, “Britalian” Martini Williams (Ayrton Senna last car) events @ Mediateca Santa Teresa (aperitivo everyday 18:00-22:00), la fanno vedere - they show it - the Williams aha 

8 APRIL - H 18-22
• BRERA DESIGN DISTRICT OPENING PARTY (by invitation only)
• DJ SET by FRANCESCA FRANZON

9 APRIL - H 18-22
• THE VROOM PARTY
SOUND and VISUAL DESIGN by IED

10 APRIL - H 18-22
• FOODY FINISH – Food a tempo di Pit Stop
con ALMA - La Scuola Internazionale di Cucina Italiana
• DJ SET by PUNKS WEAR PRADA

11 APRIL - H 18-24
• BRERA DESIGN NIGHT - EXCLUSIVE PARTY
• ELECTRO SWING by FRANKARLA
• DJ SET by VALENTINA SARTORIO ft. ELSA MARTIGNONI – Violino
• AFTERPARTY HOLLYWOOD RYTHMOTEQUE - Corso Como, 15

12 APRIL - H 18-22
• PIT STOP COCKTAIL - Make the perfect drink con La Pina e Diego di Radio Deejay
• DJ SET by ROLL OVER BEETHOVEN

Come è ormai tradizione, il leggendario marchio Martini® torna quest’anno al Fuorisalone, per celebrare il design, la gioia di vivere ed anche lo sport.
MARTINI®, con l’iconica livrea MARTINI® Racing ed il marchio Ball&Bar, ha portato glamour allo sport automobilistico sin dalla fine degli anni 60 del ‘900, vestendo, con le celebri strisce azzurre, blu e rossa, straordinarie auto in molte gare memorabili e ricche di grandi successi. Quest’anno MARTINI® sarà presente, nuovamente, in Formula Uno™ unendo le forze con la leggendaria scuderia Williams ™, dando vita alla WILLIAMS MARTINI RACING.
La MARTINI RACING LOUNGE, dove verrà mostrata in anteprima europea la nuova monoposto WILLIAMS MARTINI RACING (WILLIAMS MERCEDES FW36), offrirà l’aperitivo più cool della Milano Design Week, ove gli ospiti verranno immersi nel mondo MARTINI® Racing e potranno gustare gli aromi del fresco MARTINI ROYALE® Bianco e Rosato, gli intramontabili cocktail classici MARTINI® e le bollicine di MARTINI® Montelera Metodo Classico.
Alta cucina, design innovativo e musica animeranno la MARTINI RACING LOUNGE, in collaborazione con IED; LEICA CAMERA ITALIA; ALMA - Scuola Internazionale di cucina italiana.



The Great Beauty (La Grande Bellezza), 2014 Oscar winner

Monday, March 31, 2014

Malaysia GP 2014, joke Red Bull

SEPANG - La Gazzetta dello Sport (per la cronaca, uno degli sponsor dell'Inter, quelli che mi avevano rubato uno scoop e spacciato per opera loro), il quotidiano più venduto in Italia, titolone: LO dedicato (!!!) ...povera Italia... 


highlights - sponsored by (not very) Infiniti illuminati mafia Red Bull - no illuminati help this year? 
Ricciardo will be hit with a 10 place grid penalty in Bahrain for the pit stop's unsafe release... he's driving Webber's fake car, and same bad "luck", and same "second hand" treatment from the team... (one of the mechanics also wasn't wearing a helmet) ...what a serious "sport"... Red Bull gives you jokes.
Also see son of a bitch Vettel's criminal start pushing Rosberg towards the wall. Also showing he's not able enough, overtaken by Ricciardo.
Williams team radio: "you're faster than Massa, overtake him".
this pretty much sums up the whole Massa's career...
Thank God that Massa is a slow idiot so Button's 6th place was safe and sound. Bottas with DRS could've probably overtaken Jenson

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Bahrain GP 2014 Formula 1



SAKHIR - Bahrain International Circuit, Sakhir, جائزة البحرين الكبرى (Bahrain Grand Prix), night race.  
Bahrain Formula One Grand Prix preview, 4-6 April 2014. 
You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, 
just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 

British time: (Italy +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 12:00-13:30 (1:30pm)
fp2: 16:00-17:30 

Saturday 
fp3: 13:00-14:00 
qualifying: 16:00-17:10 

Sunday 
race: 16:00

Monday, March 17, 2014

Malaysia GP 2014 Formula 1


SEPANG - Sepang International Circuit (SIC) circuit, Selangor, Kuala Lumpur. 
(Malesia) Malaysian Formula One Grand Prix preview, 28-30 March 2014. You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 
Unfortunately, it's the circuit where Marco Simoncelli died, so we'll remember him. Ironic that his nickname was "Sic", just like the name of this circuit.

British time: (Italy +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 2:00-3:30 
fp2: 6:00-7:30 

Saturday 
fp3: 5:00-6:00 
qualifying: 8:00-9:00 

Sunday 
race: 8:00



Sunday, March 16, 2014

Australian GP, McLaren leading, Red Bull disqualified


MELBOURNE - Ricciardo on Red Bull illuminati have been disqualified, 'cause they constantly exceeded the fuel limit, so Magnussen is 2nd and Button 3rd, McLaren is @ 33 points, Ferrari 18. We're back! 
Nothing new, Red Bull has always always been irregular... but now with the illuminati not ruling, they're punished. Race won by Rosberg on Mercedes. Hamilton and Vettel immediately out. 



highlights video

Sunday, March 09, 2014

Australian GP 2014 Formula 1


MELBOURNE - Albert Park F1 circuit, Melbourne. Australia Formula One Grand Prix preview, 13-16 March 2014. You can join the Facebook event here, also if you're not going there, just to remind you the hours of the GP on tv. 

British time: (Italy +1) 

Friday 
free practice 1: 1:30-3:00 
fp2: 5:30-7:00 

Saturday 
fp3: 3:00-4:00 
qualifying: 6:00-7:00 

Sunday
race 6:00



and here is also the 2010 Australian GP (his first race with McLaren), won by Button (as in 2009 and 2012)

Saturday, March 08, 2014

Dennis : "Button similar to Senna"


Ron Dennis also talked about Jenson Button: “There are similarities to Ayrton Senna in many ways. He is an incredibly good human being. He has principles and values, and the way he conducts his life and his relationship with his team is right up there with other great drivers. 
“He is dedicated and I don’t think anybody has a better physical condition. He is intelligent, which has become an absolute prerequisite now… and he’s quick. He’s capable of winning races and world championships. He’s also an incredible mentor to Kevin.”


Canada Grand Prix 2011 has been voted as Race of the Century, won by Jenson (from last to first position) on McLaren

Thursday, March 06, 2014

Martini Williams and McLaren sponsors

Italian Martini became Williams main sponsor... looks old-fashioned.
The other day La Grande BeLLezza (The Great Beauty) won the Oscar... (Academy Award). It sounded like a commercial for Martini and Fiat...
remember all we said about iLLuminati conspiracy, and you know well F1 is about money and sponsors...

remember what happened recently with WHITE cars...
- white McLaren-Lamborghini very fast, tested by Senna, should've been his car but he had to choose Williams...
- white Brawn, only 1 season in Formula 1, won both world titles...
- white Stewart became Jaguar then Red BuLL, dominating in F1...
(and not to mention Lancia in rallying)
also McLaren dominating in the 80s could be considered white

gli illuminati comunisti stanno per colpire ancora...
"Sono voci, racconti, indiscrezioni, rumours come dicono da queste parti, ma il boss della F1, benché in difficoltà per via del processo che lo vede imputato in Germania per corruzione, deve avere qualcosa a che fare con il neonato binomio Williams Martini Racing."
(da "Il Giornale")

Ron Dennis confirmed the team will have no title sponsor for the first race of the season but “one will feature in a few races after that. We are negotiating with several companies at the moment and I’m optimistic that it will happen sooner than later”.
Ron is said to have been waiting for a longtime partner - taking into account Honda will be joining next year it could very well be a Japanese sponsor, with rumours pointing at Sony.
(rumours say McLaren is already receiving money from Honda)

Sunday, March 02, 2014

Bahrain tests



highlights photos slideshow

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Senna tribute @ Imola 2014


IMOLA - Tributo ad Ayrton Senna e Ratzenberger. The memorial for the 20th anniversary 1994-2014 @ Imola circuit (autodromo Enzo e Dino Ferrari), from 30 April until 4 May. You can join the Facebook event clicking here
The programme is really big, we'll translate for you, if you need. There will be everything, starting with a ceremony in the Cathedral, and races (even the people on the circuit), meeting the drivers, shows, parades, films, a museum, a football match with the drivers, etc. etc. Tickets: 10 €uros (free for kids under 12 years old) +a fee for those participating in the races (also with bikes). They say: more info soon, you can contact imola2014@f1passion.it or also info@autodromoimola.it


Thursday, February 06, 2014

illuminati in Formula 1


The owl, typical illuminati. 


watch carefully... if you can't read, stop the video and read. 
We know it's crazy, you can believe or not, but sure there are some things we common people don't know...

Saturday, February 01, 2014

Jerez tests



higlights photos, great job by McLaren

Friday, January 24, 2014

new McLaren 2014 MP69 TurboDildo


WOKING - ahaha presentation, here's the new sponsor.

McLaren wipe away those 2013 tears, please don't be upset, tell me all your 2014 fears...
got the whole world championship in our hands, come on take a chance and start anew... 


So basically Williams have it soft, we have it hard aha... Looks like made of steel. Sure there will be a bit of confusion with Mercedes... there should be "away kits" as in football :) More photos soon.
Lotus seem to fight for attention really hard as first they ironized about McLaren, then tweeted a pic with their car reveal only a few minutes after the McLaren car launch... before a new car, they should pay the drivers of previous years... (Raikkonen). Now with Maldonado (worst Formula 1 driver) and Grosjean, it's possibly the team we hate the most, even more than Red Bull.
Tomorrow the new Ferrari 2014, called F14 T

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

request : McLaren event in Italy


we want one in the streets like the Vodafone McLaren event in Budapest (1 May 2012), Manchester, London, Moscow (Bavaria) and Dublin (Bavaria), or Red Bull in Naples and Torino. 
Possibly with the same Hungarian girl :)

Friday, January 17, 2014

Whitmarsh sacked, new McLaren Italian team principal


WOKING - Martin Whitmarsh is going to be sacked (click here), I am the new McLaren 2014 team principal. 
Ron Dennis is back as CEO Chief Executive Officer. 

news: ex Lotus Eric Boullier, McLaren new team principal... don't like it. 
Martin was a great person... McLaren even less British now...

Monday, January 13, 2014

RIP John Button


terrible news. 
rip John Button, ex driver, Jenson's father. We always told him to stay away from Jessica, lol not good for his heart. Our thoughts are with Jenson and his family. Won't be forgotten. 

"...And, even now, in recent years, during which Formula 1 world champion Jenson, the most experienced driver on the Formula 1 grid in fact, still John has been ever-present, as loyal and as loving as ever, a benign and popular member of Jenson's entourage.
John's become an unique and irreplaceable part of the McLaren 'family'.
He was not only a great dad, but also a lovely man, and he'll be enormously missed by Jenson, of course, by all at McLaren, and indeed by the Formula 1 community at large..."
(Martin Whitmarsh)

Friday, January 10, 2014

Formula 1 2014 drivers & numbers


1 Vettel, 3 Ricciardo (Red Bull) 

44 Hamilton, 6 Rosberg (Mercedes) 

14 Alonso, 7 Raikkonen (Ferrari) 

8 Grosjean, 13 Maldonado (Lotus) 

22 Button, 20 Magnussen (McLaren) 

27 Hulkenberg, 11 Perez (Force India) 

99 Sutil, 21 Gutierrez (Sauber) 

25 Vergne, 26 Kvyat (Toro Rosso) 

19 Massa, 77 Bottas (Williams) 

17 Bianchi, 4 Chilton (Marussia)

10 Kobayashi, 9 Marcus Ericsson (Caterham)

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

new McLaren 2014 Batman car reveal


presentation on 24 January online, the colour could be not orange but maybe black? like the Batmobile. 
Jenson Batman ;)

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

all with Schumacher


we are all with you (apart from the stupid ones that come out in these cases)

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

new McLaren 2014 rumours

McLaren could launch its 2014 car with an orange livery, according to an Italian media report.
The British team will probably reveal the new car, the MP4-29 on 24 January.
The news is not official yet, but McLaren has reportedly informed its rival teams of its plans, in order to avoid a potential clash of dates in the days leading into official testing.
And with the title sponsor Vodafone now departing, and McLaren not yet announcing a replacement, the report said they're considering launching their last Mercedes powered car in McLaren's traditional orange.
More info soon

rumours: the new 2014 Mclaren Mp4-29 will be still SILVER and without title sponsors able to replace Vodafone, on the side pods there will be the names of the drivers, as sometimes in the past

Thursday, December 19, 2013

communist Red Bull


I had always suspected Red Bull was communist. Also reason why they chose the colour red and a name with a double L. Here's the truth. Red Bull was inspired by the tonic drink Lipovitan of Russia. I perfectly remember experts of illuminati things said (before Red Bull dominance) that the illuminati were starting a new world order in 2010, and controlling the entertainment world, music, sports, everything. In fact, since 2010 Red Bull is winning every title (Vettel is part of a system where everybody could win in his place...). Nowadays, if you want to win, you have to sell your soul to the communist illuminati (of course they're against the Catholic Church, etc.). Also, in 2010 Blatter (one is clearly dirty in everything he does), from Switzerland (where the illuminati banks are based - UBS main F1 sponsor and their illuminati logo) gave the World Cup 2018 to Russia... (2+1+8=11, illuminati number). Saying these things, I'm making them more interesting than they are...
This is serious, there's always a different truth behind everything, and coming out later... and it's about money.
One thing I always noticed in the fans of illuminati things, is that they're like "hypnotized", without really knowing why they support something.

Not to mention the yeLLow illuminated nose of the Red Bull car... and a double illuminated buLL... why? it's always a precise choice... in human history, symbols never disappear, they CHANGE... think about it...

to be added: also, I remember Red Bull was giving a gift to the girls at every Grand Prix, and it was a necklace with an EYE... (typical illuminati symbol) ...with all the things in the world, an eye... also, what's an eye got to do with Formula 1...

Sunday, December 15, 2013

GP Lounge Bacanal London British GP afterparty


LONDON - To be on 6 July in 2014, @ Grosvenor Place

Saturday, December 14, 2013

all the new F1 rules

We noticed the Formula 1 fans are confused, about the new regulations, so to make them clear and suggest to Ecclestone the really necessary rules, here they are.
After a 4 year-secret illuminati agreement with Red Bulluminati about money we humans will never know (see previous post about Brawn), at the end of the 2013 season, the FIA finally realised that the racing had produced exactly the same result as the championship in 2010, and 2011, and 2012, and 2013 after changing the tyres so Vettel won all the races.
Meanwhile, the fans of this sport are only a few, and sleeping since 2010.


CAMPER

as for Italians it's unconceivable to be beaten by a German (in fact, these years were more thanks to Red Bull than Vettel), 'cause we either beat them every time at football, or we're allies, lol (not meaning Hitler-Mussolini, but Schumacher-Ferrari :), following the fire truck in Korea, a camper will intervene every time baby Vettel is leading, to make him cry feeling nostalgia of his childhood in campings during his holidays in Italy, having pasta spaghetti pizza and for the first and last time even showers, and let Ferrari win.

SAFETY CAR

just when it gets interesting with cars crashing into each other (or when it rains hard), out comes the boring Safety Car. But now it will be driven by sexy nurses, carrying a fresh supply of condoms, Mosley BDSM equipment for an orgy, and a change of underwear, with nurses personally changing it

PIT STOPS

all the drivers are required to make 3 compulsory pit stops: one to change the tyres, one to refuel, and one so that the driver can take a piss.
In that case it's called pisstop.

DONUTS

to avoid Vettel's unpunished doughnuts, the winner will have to do a victory dance, with a jury judging him. In case the winner is not able to dance to the Beatles "you may be a lover but you aint' no dancer" Helter Skelter, he will lose the victory

GRID GIRLS

points are awarded at the end of each race based on who scored with the most gridgirls. The overall winner is the person who has picked up the most during the season

NEW KERS

the Kers (kangaroo-energy-recovery/release-system) will now use kangaroos in order to release energy to have more cars overtaking and now even jumping over. Unfortunately the enviromentalists of Greenpeace (appearing in Belgium @ Spa) disagreed, and to avoid their protests, the teams can only use one kangaroo per GP, apart from the Australian GP, with infinite kangaroos and many cars overtaking, in order to give fans the illusion it will be an exciting season.
Instead of kangaroos, there will be tests in Russia with vodka(-ngaroo). Raikkonen feels over the moon. Not sure about the results... maybe too exciting.


CIRCUITS

the Nurburrburburgubguburging is cancelled because the name is too difficult.
The circuits with the shape of a penis will be forbidden, and this will be a new one, without straights, to have more cars overtaking

TORO ROSSO

the team Toro Rosso, translation of the soulless Red Bull(shit), is only useful to sell Red Bull drinks in Italy, so they'll have to change their name with "Toro Rosso Merda" (shit), to remind how disgusting is their drink

12 TEAMS

@ FIA they want a 12th team from 2015, and we can exclusively anticipate the name : as there's always a joke team at the back of the grid, the HRT (Horrendous Racing Team) will be back, also known as Hysteria, but they have now been cured

BACKSEAT

about the news of Vettel becoming a father soon, cars will have backseats, and his son will constantly ask if they are there yet and will spray Red Bull drink in Vettel's eyes

POLAND

about the pole position new trophy, in order to decide who starts from the first place, and to compensate the absence of Kubica, the entire nation of Poland will be asked who should start there, hence the name "pole"

DESTRUCTORS

not only the Costructors Championship, now also the Destructors one, to have more exciting crashes, that was the real spice of this sport

SABOTAGE

to add some thrill and nostalgia for the old times, sabotaging the rivals will be allowed. The box must be kept open during the night, with mechanics making jokes on the cars. The following day, the teams are allowed to check their cars, apart from the brakes

HELMET DESIGN

as a punishment for Vettel changing the design of his helmet in almost every GP (that was the most entertaining thing in F1), he will have to race without helmet, with a flock of birds (Noel Gallagher bringing bad luck as always) following his Red Bull Renault Clio and shitting on his head, changing its colour. Very entertaining.
Vettel already tested this rule in 2013 when he showed his new fake blonde hairstyle.

TYRES

to avoid interrupted races because of rain (really absurd), in case of bad weather, Pirelli is now making triangular tyres, that sure will keep the cars stable on track

CHEATING

another new trophy will be given in Australia, to see who has been cheating over the winter break. There is always at least one team. Current record holders are Red Bull.

METALS

a typographical error on a press release initially described the championship as operating also under a "medals" system, with drivers being awarded a gold, silver or bronze medal for their efforts. In reality, this should have read "metals", as winning drivers will be awarded heavy metals at the end of each event which they will then be required to wear for the duration of the next event in an effort to slow them down

POINTS

the winner will get 20 points, the second 25... this to avoid Vettel winning every race, to see if he's really driving or it's Red Bull that could win even without a driver.
1 extra point for the drivers who can touch the chequered flag with their hand

CHEQUERED FLAG

traditionally, the chequered flag was waved to the first driver to cross the line. Now it's associated with the person who has the biggest cheque book (hence the name), and so can corrupt the officials more than anyone else

HAMILTON

to avoid Hamilton pitting at McLaren again, a blue bird on a statue of Rockefeller will be placed @ Mercedes box, to remind him the reason why he changed team (money, and Twittergate, revealing telemetry and attacking his own friend, then realising to be wrong)

COST CAP

the new rule will be applied not on the teams but on the cost of the prostitutes for the whole FIA members

HITCH-HIKING

instead of Webber, at the end of the races, gridgirls and escorts/prostitutes will be hitch-hiking along the track, and drivers not resisting the temptation and picking them up, will get a penalty.
Briatore already asked to be a new driver

FAN TEST

following the Red Bull domination, new fans usually drinking Red Bull in discos, became fond of this sport, calling themselves experts despite discovering its existence 14 minutes before.
The people who can prove to have a relative from Heppenheim (Vettel's hometown) will be the only Vettel fans allowed to watch the GPs.

FAN SEX

if all these changes won't be enough and F1 is still boring, the fans will have sexual intercourse, and the activities will be suggested by the automatic advertisements appearing beside the internet streaming

VETTEL LOOKING AT CARS

at the end of the races, to prevent Vettel always looking at the other cars (as if there was something irregular / or to copy), they should put Ibrahimovic there, telling him "cazzo guardi?", lol (=wtf are you looking at)



more stuff to add and update soon
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